Wanting Emily
by Tatj
Summary: Yep...so this is actually just Episode 9 in Naomi's view...with extra scenes or the missing ones...yup, hope you guys like it... NAOMILY ROCKS! :
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So This is the Twins' Episode (Ep9)...but it's from Naomi's view...**

**...And so just you know...I don't own Skins...i don't own the Characters and even the storyline is actually not mine.. but there will be extra ( or actually the missing )scenes ;)**

**Well...Let the games begin!**

**Chapter 1**

I walked into class just in time but it wouldn't have mattered if I was too late. I'm the best in history,...shit don't get me wrong but I like history, I think it's important to know why the world is how it is and stuff like that. As usual I take the seat in the corner, seeing everything not be seen by anybody.

If somebody would have looked at me closer the person might have noticed that I was looking for someone. The only one person I want to see in this insane asylum, who I want to see me. I'm disappointed. There is only one red head, I can see, but that one has curly hair and to less of clothes on her. So this meant that Emily Fitch wasn't in the house – and my day was already crushed.

The exam was easy, first question: " When did the second world war happen?" Oh god, this was so...simple... I started to look around the class, already bored by the first question and suddenly I saw JJ passing a note to the red head, Katie. WTF???

10 minutes before the ball rang Katie practically ran out of class, excusing herself that she had to go to the lady's. And it was like an angel would sing. That husky, smoky, raspy wonderful sexy voice didn't belong to Katie.

I had finished the work about 5 minutes so I quickly stood up and followed her, trying not to be seen by the red head. I haven't talked to her since the eventful barbecue. We texted but didn't meet or anything. I actually missed her voice, but that's because she's kinda the only friend, I ever had, to be honest....right?

Emily walked over to Katie's locker and I sneaked behind the locker door. When she closes the door, I instantly have a smile on my face. Isn't it nice how happy real friends can make you? When she finally sees my a soft smile appears on her face as well. She looks at my, a bit unsure maybe... So I finally speak. "Nice job." I have to distract myself from her low neckline, showing her cleavage very nicely. With my finger I touched her fake bruises at her right eye. She caught my hand. "Stop it, it's fucking aching!" she said playfully and laughed. I removed my hand quickly, I already felt tension building up between the two of us.

"Yeah, well...wish I had someone to pass my exams for me." I'm good at history and languages and can also cope with maths, but I really suck at at getting up early.

"Yeah..." she just said, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I hope you're gonna finish the job and dump Freddie for her as well." She let out a sigh "That's over, Katie knows it..."

I couldn't believe it but I really felt sorry for Katie. I spoke out my thoughts about the "eventful barbecue". I let an slighlty sarcastic comment slip in, and Emily told me that it wasn't funny, told me that Katie got hurt. I know, okay. I was talking about her and me hand holding, holding each other in the night, without being drunk, high or anything the whole time. We were just acting...really friendly...right?

So I repeated myself "Like I said, it was eventful" still thinking about her hair tickling my nose that night.

Emily looks down at herself, and I follow her look. Shit, the cleavage, I had forgotten and I couldn't help it. "You should wear that more often." She smiles, thinking I'm not serious "They are Katie's" she replies.

I look at her allowing one last glance down. "Yeah...You look nice...from the neck down." I mean her face is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, but right now, the make up and hair reminds me a bit too much of Katie. I think she got that I'm serious. Now nether one of us knows what to say. We sigh at the same time. I'm fighting with myself. Should I tell her, or would it be the best for us if she doesn't know. Since I'm not really god at making decisions when it comes to Emily I do what I can do best and I'm starting to walk away.

"Naomi" she says. The tenderness in her voice makes me stop. Shit, she knows, that there is something. I take a breath and try to sound casual.

"I think I'm going away for the summer."

She looks disappointed, surprised and well disappointed. "Oh..." is all she says.

I tell her that I was thinking about going away to Cyprus on my own for the summer to work things out, do some thinking. I really mention the word "by myself" too often I think.

"About what?" she askes. Oh, here we go again. I put on my nice, polite let's-just-be-friends-smiled and trained really hard in front of my mirror and told her so. "Let's just be friends okay?"

Shit, more disappointment in those beautiful eyes. "We said that, don't we?", she states, looking at me with well disappointment. I try to ignore it. She's calm, sad but still she looks at me like I'm the only one in the whole world. I really don't understand that girl.

"Have a good summer" I tell her. Just in case, I'm too craven to phone her before vacation once more. I smile at her and turn away, feeling her look on my back. Why does she make me feel like I'm a ...coward? Why do I feel so guilty, why do I feel the need to turn around and kiss her? Okay, I know those answers, but they are not true, right. You can't just fall in love, with a girl, be gay over night.

"I'll miss you."

With those three words came so many emotion. Emily probably hadn't meant to but right now everything came back. Our first kiss, seeing her again at college, our second kiss, our third kiss, our talks, her supporting me, her believing in my, telling me that I could do everything. The lake, the cat flap. I had to stop walking. I close my eyes and suddenly everything becomes scary clear.

The I turn around and walk towards her. I can see the question "What the fuck are you doing?" forming in her eyes but but it never makes it out her mouth. I push her back against the lockers and kiss her. I kiss her with so all desperation I felt the last few days and nights. I put all my wanting in the kiss. Soon Emily stops being surprised and warms up to the kiss and I'm getting back as good as I'm giving. With one hand I'm holding her face in place, with the other one I'm caressing her hip through the skirt.

This is what I want, I want her, she makes me brave and I can honestly say, I want that cute red head to be mine! Her hand is on my neck I pull back slightly and gasp "I can't stand this, I can't"... well I can't think. I attack her lips over and over again. Softly she mumbled that it was okay.

I want to tell her that I want her, that I lov...but instead everything that comes out is a desperate "Jesus". I want more, I need more, but then the bell rings.

We pull apart, still breathless we see Freddie coming our direction. I curse slightly, grab Emily's hand and run off.

**TBC...but reviews always make me work faster :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter II: The missing scene and the drama starts again...**

„Were are we going?" she asks, slightly out of breath. We have run out of the college building and now we are standing in front of my bike. I peck her quickly on the lips and answer her "My house, my room, my bed." She smiles, kisses me again.

We walk next to each other, making sure to have enough distance between us but still is the tension killing me. She looks at me then and when and I just can't help it and I have to look back into those beautiful eyes. They are that sort of you can read by their color. And now the normal hazel actually brown eyes were really dark, in my view even black, full of longing and desire. But still, there was this warmth and love, the admiring and adoring and that cute glint, that was just typically Emily.

I try to focus on something else, but it's impossible. When we finally reach my house, I nearly drag her up the stairs into my room. There we stand, looking at each other. I make the first move. I kiss Emily with all my love...shit, did I just say love? I pull back.

Jesus, she's so beautiful. She looks at me, with those big brown eyes and I can feel my self falling all over again. "You are gorgeous" she whispers with her raspy voice. God, that's just too much for me to cope with.

I gently but powerfully push her against the small sink and kiss her with more passion than ever before. Sucking slightly on her lower lip and nipping it slightly with my teeth, like I dreamed the last night. Ems lets out a small moan. I crush mine and Emily's body together, when she sweeps her tongue over my lips begging for entrance which was swiftly granted.

Her soft hand are under my shirt and I just don't now what to do. I want her so badly, I need her so badly, I... gosh, I pull her T-Shirt above her head. Now Emily stands in her bra in front of me and I let out a moan at this sight. She smiles unsure and shy. I smile at her and gently take her hand. I lead her to the bed. "You are beautiful" I whisper as I bend over her.

"Kiss me" her voice was husky and almost a whisper completely caught up in desire and I quickly complied. I kissed her, soft slow. I pulled back a little and pulled my shirt off as well. I trace a line between her breasts with my finger and enjoy the way her body reacts.

Then she kisses me again, harder, we roll over and now she's on the top of me. Our lips pressing together hard and frantic. This is something I've never really experienced and it is good, fuck this feels so good. I need more, and need more of her. It's like something in side of me explodes and and try to get up a little. "Clothes...all...off" I manage to say. Emily helps me to get naked just leaving my pants in place. After I threw her things off of her body I can feel her hand fumble over my tummy and down into my underwear and now it is my turn to gasp at the sensation that was overcoming me.

When we had been at the lake, Ems was unsure, it was wonderful but this time she was more daring. The next thing I know is her tongue flicking over my clit. "Jesus" That girl drives me crazy. Before I come I pull her up, kiss her hard while her hand is doing it's magic.

When the orgasms rolls over me, I scream her name. All I want now is to show her what she makes me feel. After my body relaxed a little, I roll us over and kiss her neck. She starts breathing faster and that makes me smile. Slowly I kiss my way down her body. Right above her pants I stop. She whimpers and I pull her underwear off. I imitate her actions from before. She curses something and pulls my head back to hers. "You taste so fucking good" I tell her before she kisses me, her hips pressed against my hand.

Then Emily comes. We are both out of breath, both completely satisfied and both exhausted. I pulled her closely to me wrapping my arm around her shoulder as she burries her head in my neck. I stroke her hair kissing her forehead. "I love...d it" she whispers and softly kisses the my skin. I smile. She's so damn cute. I pull away a little so I can look at her.

She's so beautiful. She make up smudgy, her lips are swollen and she looks really exhausted but that's the way I love ...her face. That's the real Emily. I love her face, while she sleeps, while she looks at me, while she is exhausted...because that's the real Emily Fitch. Not that one who smiles, because her parents tell her so, not the one who looks scared because of her sister. I love her...face when she is real.

I look at my hand, with which I'm stroking her arm. "You okay?" she asks unsure, maybe scared. Who can blame her? Last time I just left her, lying in the woods. "Yeah" I answer, and I really am. I try to show her with a soft smile that I really mean it.

"What about your mum?" Emily asks. Is she trying to give me a chance to throw her out? I want to show her that I really want her to stay. "That's my room, no one's allowed in here." I tell her.

I turn to lay on my stomach, I have to stop looking and touching her or else I would kiss her again. I know that thousands of questions are running through her head, but I'm not ready to answer them. I kinda feel like a child, when you don't see what fears you it's not there but Emily is there. She wouldn't need to speak. I just feel her, smell her, know that she is there, in my bed, my head and my heart.

Even if I can't see her face I know she smiles when she tells me that she wished to have a room just for herself. "Katie and me, we are always together...everything together...eating, sleeping...untill we were nine we used to dump at the same time." I have to laugh."Jesus"

Because I'm turned away from her, I listen to much more intensively, not distracted by her naked body or her eyes. Her voice, it FESSELT me. I could listen to her for hours.

"Yeah, no secrets..." No secrets? Everyone needs secrets. "So what about this one?" I ask her. Emily says nothing. She just starts strong down my hips and up again. I love her soft hands, I delicate fingers.

"Naomi..." I smile, the way she says my name makes me feel so special. "I wanna tell people..." What? "That you're gay?"

"I wanna tell people about us..." WHAT? Nonononononono...I stay silent. I know she's looking at me, getting more and more disappointed. "Come to the college ball with me...like we are together..." I sounds like it had taken her everything to ask that. No...please I'm not ready for this...I sigh. "I don't want to do that" I say. My voice sounds cold because I want to hide any emotion like fear or guilt.

"Why not?" She asks me...Damage done.

**TBC...reviews are very welcome!**


	3. Chapter 3

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**Sorry for not updating for so long...!!!**

**Chapter 3**

_No secrets? Everyone needs secrets. "So what about this one?" I ask her. Emily says nothing. She just starts strong down my hips and up again. I love her soft hands, I delicate fingers._

_"Naomi..." I smile, the way she says my name makes me feel so special. "I wanna tell people..." What? "That you're gay?"_

_"I wanna tell people about us..." WHAT? Nonononononono...I stay silent. I know she's looking at me, getting more and more disappointed. "Come to the college ball with me...like we are together..." I sounds like it had taken her everything to ask that. No...please I'm not ready for this...I sigh. "I don't want to do that" I say. My voice sounds cold because I want to hide any emotion like fear or guilt._

_"Why not?" She asks me...Damage done._

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I turn back to her. At least that I own her, I guess.

"Ems, it's nobody's business" I tell her. Now she gets angry. "Why? Who cares what other people think?" I do... "Emily" I hate it when she looks hurt like that, trying to sound angry, but all she is is disappointed and hurt. I turn on my stomach, trying to explain my actions.

"I'm...not like you." - I'm not that brave. "I'm not sure...like you are..." I say instead. "What aren't you sure of?" she asks, again scared, hurt. I shrug my shoulders. "Can't thinks ever be complicated?" ...I can make them!

She doesn't understand. "Fine, you like boys too..."

NO EMILY, I'm just fucking scared of getting hurt by you, by your sister or anyone else, who might hurt me if I hurt you, which would hurt me too...but instead of saying this and answer that "Maybe" I sound calm but inside I'm fighting, a battle between my stupid heart and my stubborn head. I can't look at her so I watch the ceiling.

"Maybe I only like boys... apart from you..." Well, at least I told her that I like her, right?

But Emily sees it differently. "Oh, that's fucking great! You are so in touch with yourself, aren't you?" We turn around so we lie back to back. I'm biting my lip. I hate doing this to her, but I'm not ready to go out there. What if I'm just an experiment for her...?

"Come to the ball with me?" She says, asks. I close my eyes. I can't...I shake my head slowly. I guess she understands my silence and I feel her getting up from the bed. No...please. I roll my eyes. She's so over reacting. "Don't do that?"

I turn around. "No, you don't do that! I'm not your fucking experiment!" She's getting dressed. I StèTZen myself on my elbows and look at her. I don't know what to say. She looks really pissed. "Where are my fucking...oh where are my fucking shoes? Oh fuck it, keep them!" I want to tell her so badly that I'm sorry but I just don't know how. She looks at me "I'm tired, so sick and tired of it" And she really does look tired. Still I can't find my words to say something. What do I want to say? That I'm sorry...? Right now, it wouldn't be enough. Or maybe... but she shrugs. It's to late, I know.

"We're still holding hands through a catflap, aren't we" she says, a statement. What does she wants to hear from me? I have no idea... "Have fun in Cyprus" she says with tears in her eyes. Then she turns away and goes out of my room, the shut of the door feels much heavier than it might have been if any one else would have been going out there.

I feel like crying. Taking a deep breath I hold back the tears. I fall back into my bed and all I can think of is that stupid red head who made me feel all this. I'm so confused. I can't hold the tears anymore and I cry myself to sleep, snuggle into the pillow, which still smelled like Emily.

The next morning I wake up, my eyes burn. The pillow under my head is wet, guess I was even crying in my sleep. It was a mistake. I have to talk to Emily. Quickly I get up and take a shower.

As the hot body is running over my body I remember Ems' soft hands touching my already burning skin. I think about her moans and my "fingers do their walking" down my body. Shortly before I push them inside me, the water turns into cold and I scream out in shock. "Sorry honey, I think the couple from before needed all the hot water." I can hear my mum shout. "Fuck" I scream.

I'm getting dressed, put on some make up and leave the house.

15 minutes later I'm standing in front of the house, where I've been sitting at the doorstep for 2 and a half hour, where I slept hidden in Emily's bed, without touching her, were I sneaked out in the early morning, which no one noticed, not even her. I'm scared...I'm scared like shit. I look at the windows on the first floor. I finally find my courage and move closer to the door when suddenly an woman bursts out of the house. We nearly bump into each other. I apologize, putting on my nice, polite I'm-just-a-friend-of-your-daughter-smile and look closer at the woman who starts to talk.

"...okay, I'm always in a rush." Oooooookay....I'm not sure what to think about her.

"Oh I'm sorry, I don't think we've..."She's looking at me closer. "Uhm...Naomi, I'm a friend of Emily's." Suddenly Mrs. Fitch looks schocked...What? Is it my name, or the fact that her daughter has actually friends? She looks at her watch and invites me in. "Oh...I thought you were in a r..." "NO, no...It's really fine, they are all still in bed. Come in." I'm scared like shit, why is she looking at me like this? And what does Naomi, if she's scared? Riiiiiiiight. "I should go..." I say, polite smile on my lips. Mrs Fitch steps forward. "Please"..Oh I know these brown eyes. Fuck, I need to talk to Ems.

I follow the woman inside the house. "Sit down, please." My smile is gone, with crossed arms I'm standing in the kitchen, slowly moving to the table. We sit across from each other and the false smile on Mrs. Fitch face is also gone. "I just..." I just want to speak to Emily, but the oldest Fitch woman interrupts me.

"Emily is really impressionable." Silence. She looks at me if I should have a clue what she is talking about....well I don't. "What?"

"She's the younger twin."..."Alright" There must be a huge WTF??? above my head.

"And that means that she's always somehow in her sister shadow. I don't know why that is, but it is. Katie is always in charge and I think that Emily wants to ...I don't know...do something to feel that she's...like..."

"I don't know what you are talking about..." And I really still don't have a clue... Emily didn't..no...no, she wouldn't...

"Yes you do" Mrs Fitch tells me, look at me as if...I don't know, have a disease. "So I want you to stop, putting ideas into her head, okay? She's not gay."

"I'm not gay!" It's like a reflex. "Right, then there's nothing to worry about then, is there?" I want to say something, but she keeps talking "because they are the apple of their dad's eyes. He loves them (...), you know?! Just the way they are, normal, happy twins and they are more alike then you'll ever know. "

"You sure of that?" Now I know, why Katie is like that, and I admire Emily for her courage and honesty and I feel ashamed for me being a coward. "I want you to disappear now, Naomi. Don't screw her up, okay?" Oh my god, how could Emily tell her family about us?

"Goodbye, Naomi!" I can't believe this woman. I actually jump from the chair and nearly run out of the house.

I send a text message to Emily. She always writes back, no matter how mad she is, but after two hours of nothing, I get scared. What if I really lost her this time?

I went to school but all I can think of is that red head. I have an important exam in the next hour , but I can't concentrate. I think I've send her 50 messages the past three hours and I tried to call her, but her phone was off. Now I'm ringing again but she won't answer it. SHIT! She just shut her phone off again.

Now sitting in front of the exam I feel like crying. I miss her, her voice, her looks, her smell...I loolk at my phone, but there is still no answer. Fuck it, I grape my stuff and leave the classroom. Totally ignoring the teacher's question.

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**A/N:...yeah..and guys...that thing called reviewing - it really works...makes me write much better.... so please... don't just do alerts and stuff.... write me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

I'm standing in front of that fuckin LOVE BALL poster and pull out my cell phone. I need to speak to that damn red head.

I'm nearly shocked when hear the unfriendly „What?" at the other end. Before Emily can say anything else, I'm speaking "Please Emily" taking a breath "I have to speak to you."

"What for?" - "Don't hang up..." I wait, and after a second she's still there and tells me that we should meet for coffee." I think a whole mountain just fell off of my heart. She hangs up and I smile. Maybe life's better than I thought.

10 minutes later I'm walking down the street to the coffee, we always met. Before I enter the building a look threw the window and I see a red head sitting there on her own. "You can do this, Naomi, you can do this."

I count fast to 10 and open the door. "Emily..." How natural it feels to say that name. This time I can't hide the happiness in my voice. I'm so glad that she gives me another chance. The red head turns around. The girl takes off her sunglasses and I nearly screamed. This must be a nightmare.

Katie Fitch grins at me. I groan with an unbelieving smile. I nearly have to laugh at my stupidity. I knew the voice sounded somehow different.

"You gonna sit down?" No....but well, I'm kinda curious what she wants to I take the seat across her. I look at her. I hate her, if she wasn't there, who knows, maybe I wouldn't be so scared, I'm mean I wouldn't need to be, right. One homophobic person less.

Shit, what if Emily sent Katie, what if Emily doesn't even want to see me again and sends her fuckin sister instead? "Was that you on the phone?" I ask, wanting to know for sure. "She shouldn't leave it lying around" Katie says as if she would have the right to do something like that. At least I know that Emily has nothing to do with this.

I don't know what to say, what does she want from me? "So..." I start. "Leave her alone. She's mine." What wrong with this family? First the mother, now the sister...they treat Ems like crap and know, when she finally comes out of her shadow they pretend to care. I don't get this.

"She can't help, who she is, Katie. Nether can I..." Have I just said that?

"Yeah? Seemed like she could help it when she was fucking JJ..." Suddenly I feel a sharp pain stinging inside of me. "What?" I must have misunderstood her.

"Apparently he's quite keen actually, you know after she sorted him good and proper."

Nonononono...This can't be...nonono NO....

"It's not true." It can't be, right? Emily was after all mine, right? I mean she was running after me all the time, why should she stop now, I mean if hurt her worse...right? It would fit, if Katie would have just made this up, to make me giving up on Ems...right, that's it.

"You hurt her, now she doesn't want you." Katie says. It sounded so...so true. I really really hurt her that other night, I mean, why does it bother me that much? It's not we are like together, cause if we were...I would have gone with her to that stupid prom, and she? She wouldn't have slept with JJ.

Shit, this is not logical, I'm so confused, and hurt. This hurts so much, did Emily feel like this when she left my house yesterday. Rejected?

Katie sits there, smiling. Then she gets up, I have to shut my eyes for a moment, this isn't happening, it can't.

"Why are you so horrible" I ask her. I can't believe that she and Emily are relatives.

"Coz i love her more than you ever can, now if you will excuse i have dresses to buy for a ball and you want be there, because if you are...... " She looks at me with an really ill I'll-kill-you-if-you look. Then she just turns around and goes.

I'm sitting there in this fuckin coffee shop, where this fucking nice music is playing. I'm shocked, it gets harder to breathe and tears a forming in my eyes. "...no she doesn't want you..." The words are spinning in my head. Was is really true. Yeah, I believed Katie that with JJ, but Emily not wanting me anymore?

I remember what she had said at the lake, when I just left her, standing there. "...I do want you, so be brave, and want me back!" Why wasn't it enough what I was giving her, why was she not content with having sex sometimes, holding hands in secret.

My whole live I thought I wouldn't need anyone, not my father, not my mother, no friends, no love, no Emily. But the truth was, I really did want her...and I really did need her to want me.

I let a tear find it's way down my cheek. Maybe it wasn't too late, maybe I could make it alright, maybe I could show her that I really wanted her. I got up and nearly ran out of that building into the next shop for dresses.

Oh god, dresses...I really loved them, but wearing them was something totally differently and buying them was another story in an foreign language. When I found some beautiful yellow short dress I nearly fainted. "3000 Pounds?" WTF?

I went home, with puffy red eyes, blurred make up, broken heart, but without a dress. Slowly I found my way into the kitchen, where my mother was sitting with a cup of tea in her hands.

When she saw me, she jumped up from her chair and pulled me into a tight hug. "Oh honey, what the fuck happened to you?" And for the first time since 7 years I cried in my mothers arms, maybe after all, I did need a mother too.

**Special Thanks to Skinsfan2 , who really really helped me! Thank you so much...this chpt is for you!!**

**But I also wanna thank everyone who read this and who reviewed, you are amazing!!!**

**TBC....**


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